4/28/2004 - Are you being abused?   Print  E-mail 

Dealing with abusive people requires persistence, patience, and passion in standing up for the truth. It also requires intervention in the face of abusers who try to pin the blame on the victim.

I believe with firm conviction that abuse starts in the home. From trivial fights in front of the children that escalate to verbal abuse, to emotional abuse that escalates to physical confrontations, we need to attack the problem at at its root level.

The family is the foundation of this country, yet look at how it has dramatically changed. While divorce and other factors have contributed to it, what is the #1 cause of divorce? They say money, but dig deeper and you'll see that at the root of the money problem usually lies a power struggle involving issues with control. 

Whether it's the love of money or terrorist activity, any abuse of power stems from an unhealthy need for control. We all know innocent victims who have been abused by someone who had more of "something" than their victim, be it more money, more physical strength, more intelligence, or more power and social status. We've all have heard about innocent children who were accused of being "no good" by their father or mother. At the other end of the spectrum, there are all the innocent bystanders who get blown apart by some terrorist "in the name of God".   

In each act of abuse, no matter how minor (or major), you will find it stems from an "Abuse of Power". Such abuse is also at work whenever someone commits a criminal act. Even so-called "petty crimes" involve an unhealthy need for power and control. Whatever the case, the common denominator in all acts of abuse stems from an "Abuse of Power" - the very essence of evil.

People who abuse innocent victims are the most selfish people on earth. As a truth-seeker, I am passionate about standing up to abusers, especially when it comes to standing up for those who can't stand up for themselves. In dealing with abusive people, I believe in turning the other cheek, but not so they can slap you back and forth until you're dizzy. My believe in "turning the other cheek" is based on principle, which is not only biblical, but appropriate in many instances. However, when the "slap" of your face becomes abusive, then you must "turn the other cheek" to look the abuser square in the eye and tell them what they are doing is wrong, and that you will no longer tolerate their abuse.

Of course, this should not be done in the midst of a violent act or when the abuser has the "upper hand". Nor am I suggesting such an approach is always appropriate. Some victims have suffered abuse so severe that they get stuck in a trap of denial and can't see the "forest through the trees" so-to-speak in developing a strategy for effectively getting out of an absuve situation. It is in these types of situations that intervention is necessary.

So, if you know or suspect someone is being abused, report it to the police. Because it is the right thing to do. In fact, failing to report suspected abuse is against the law. Are you a victim of abuse, but afraid to admit it? If so, please let us know. We want to help. E-mail me with your thoughts at

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